For the first time in ages, the RHOA cast trip feels reminiscent of the show we fell in love with ages ago, achieving the ladies’ goal of resetting after a turbulent yet triumphant few months of filming. Even the worst part of the season has produced some entertainment, as dragging Brit Eady every Sunday is now a communal experience, with her “event” last week giving fans and critics alike plenty of fodder for reaction memes. Tonight, she shows up with another sad cardboard box, this time with her sparse donation for the people of Grenada after their hurricane. Brit claims the three packs of toilet paper were all she could fit in her car, and someone else would be dropping more off later (we’ll wait for that receipt at the reunion), though I’m just happy she stayed within her budget this time.
But before the women head to the island with their charity and their “reset, renew, and rebirth” mantra, there are a few loose strings to tie up in Atlanta. Most pertinently is a long-overdue one-on-one conversation between Drew and Porsha. Like Brit, Porsha has become a problem cast member, hindering the success of the soft reboot. While Brit’s fatal flaw is her lack of Housewife-making traits, Porsha’s issue is ironically the opposite. We’ve known for years she has an amazing personality for Bravo — she’s fabulous, funny, contradictory, and confrontational — but she refuses to put it to use onscreen this season, telling Shamea she doesn’t get paid enough. Girl, they’re not going to pay you at all if you keep giving us nothing!
Although Porsha will never admit it, Drew is actually her greatest asset, practically handing her a story line and a chance to resurrect the activated Porsha of seasons past. Drew isn’t dumb — she knew playing around with Dennis would elicit a reaction from Porsha. However, Porsha believes remaining unbothered is proof of maturity, which can be true in real life, but this is reality TV, and without a house to film in, Porsha should take whatever she can get. But instead, she keeps up her on-camera façade while her more conniving nature is at work behind the scenes. Porsha’s mask slips continuously, as we saw with her after-hours comments about Charles and with her poorly disguised revenge plan to film with Ralph. The charade is especially hard to maintain with an opponent like Drew, who will keep prodding as long as cameras continue rolling, so Porsha sets up a coffee date to clear the air before Grenada.
This conversation should’ve happened weeks ago, and I know Drew would’ve been receptive … if not only for an opportunity to film and be messy, because, even at her most insufferable, she understands the assignment. As much as I’ve joked about Drew using her scenes with the women as an opportunity to practice her improv techniques, a lot of that is what makes her a strong cast member. Her entire story line with Dennis (and passive-aggressively tagging Shamea on Instagram about their fight) is proof of Drew’s keen ability to manufacture drama — whether the viewers believe filming with Dennis is right or wrong ultimately doesn’t matter. What’s important is that she’s creating opportunities for drama with her castmates; yes, hanging out with Dennis is weird, but it’s also passing the ball to Porsha in the hopes of producing a reaction and thus putting on a show for us watching behind the fourth wall.
Drew finally gets that reaction out of Porsha, bringing the energy we needed ten weeks ago (she does admit later that she avoided the conversation because she needed time to cool off). During their meeting, Porsha spills tea she got from Dennis about Drew allegedly dating a mystery man named Black while doubling down on her lie about not intentionally filming with Ralph. In a perfectly produced world, Porsha would’ve admitted to her vengeful behavior, telling Drew to her face the hypocrisy of Drew lashing out once the tables are turned, but Porsha can’t risk looking like a villain.
Porsha’s feigned innocence doesn’t deter Drew, who still happily plays ball, denying that she’s dating anyone before bringing up one of the off-season rumors I was hoping Porsha would have to address about an alleged fling with Future. The rapper’s name is censored, but any amateur lip reader can tell they were referencing the infamous playboy. Right as the sparring gets good, with Drew accusing her opponent of deflecting because of a toxic divorce, Porsha walks away from yet another conversation. But that’s okay, because the conversation carries over to Grenada, where the entire cast throws their grievances at Drew like grenades, giving the drama queen the spotlight she loves so much.
Their journey to the island is formulaic, sticking to the same familiar Housewives travel schticks. This includes lost luggage, a corny game for the rooms, one unlucky wife (Drew, of course) having to sleep in twin beds, and plenty of Sprinter van gossip. It’s trope-y, but RHOA needs that right now to return to form. We even get a surprise appearance from Bolo! Just kidding — although that would certainly get a reaction from Porsha — but there was a mysterious naked man seen from a nearby villa (??). No one clutches their pearls at this sighting as the women are in the mood for some frisky fun, with Angela making sure to install braids for the vacation so she won’t have to worry about her wig slipping.
Angela continues her reign as rookie of the year, gracefully rooming with Porsha, proving her ability as a team player. But that doesn’t stop the shade from flowing — she says in her confessional, “I have no problem sharing a room with Porsha because Charles is safe at home.” Besides, Angela already got her lick back from Porsha’s comments about Charles by instigating the already precarious relationship between Porsha and her bestie and bringing Drew the news that Porsha filmed with Dennis. Angela is so clocked into her role as a Housewife that she doesn’t let her eighth anniversary with Charles keep her from her first international cast trip.
Instead of hanging out with her husband, Angela is stirring the pot at a dinner in Grenada, and we love her for it! Who cares about these men, anyway! He’ll be there when she gets home, and he’s probably welcoming the break from the cameras. Angela foreshadows the grenades Drew encounters at dinner in the van from the airport when Phaedra asks “where the beef is” in the group, and Angela replies by pointing to Drew. Now, at dinner, Kelli first asks Shamea and Drew to squash the discord (it was great to see Porsha finally defend her friend and put the lapdog fight to rest), which quickly leads to everyone else piling on with their individual issues with the actress. Kelli points out that Drew has a problem with everyone at the table, excluding Cynthia, and Drew performs her perfectly practiced facial expressions with a Razzie-worthy delivery of the word “what?”
The inquisition of Drew continues, circling back to Porsha and Drew’s everlasting squabble. Porsha acknowledges how poorly she handled the situation in the premiere episode, and Drew, eager to finally work together with her scene partner, thanks her. Since stonewalling has been Porsha’s strategy of choice all season, it was a surprise when, instead of using this as an opportunity to cease fire, she picks right back up from where their conversation in Atlanta ended. She says she has no expectations of friendship from Drew, a decision validated by Drew’s choice to bring up the Future rumor. The other women collectively gag first at the mention of the Atlanta celebrity and again when Porsha tries to expose Drew for dating Black.
Under the guise of trying to help Drew clear her name about trying to sleep with Dennis, Porsha urges Drew to admit to a relationship with Black, but it’s obvious Porsha just wants Drew’s dirty laundry on the table. It’s all a continuation of her revenge plan that started with filming with Ralph (which she maintains was merely coincidental). Drew, who knows that dating someone wouldn’t look good in her divorce, especially when Ralph will do anything to sully her reputation, asserts that what Porsha is saying about Black is a rumor. She then asks Porsha how she would feel if people assumed, based on the fact that they filmed together, that she was sleeping with Ralph. It’s a weak argument, but she pushes exactly the right button within Porsha, who starts to let out all the unsaid words she’s held in over the past few months.
Kelli, intent on sticking to their goal of resetting, takes control by waving a rose quartz crystal in the air. From there, she gets everyone to agree that filming with baby daddies and husbands doesn’t feel good for anyone. Drew, satisfied that she got her moment with Porsha, reiterates that nothing untoward happened with Dennis and apologizes for not asking for Porsha’s blessing. Porsha accepts and receives the olive branch, hopefully marking the last time we need to talk about any of this.
Before the dinner ends, Brit takes the last minutes of the episode to give us some comic relief with another cringeworthy moment. She says that while they’re on the topic of exes, she needs to address Phaedra. Right when I thought she was going to say she slept with Apollo, she delivers the most anticlimactic tea ever, telling Phaedra that Mike invited Apollo and his wife to the Bare and Naked event. No one gives a fuck — the table was literally holding in laughter — but thanks for the chuckle. In her confessional, Shamea says what we’re all thinking: “Brit, read the room. Ain’t nobody talking about that. But we are still talking about how we left your event hungry.” And we’ll still be talking about it for years to come!
• Kelli’s vulnerability balances out her campiness so well. Her struggle to get her ex to show up for his children is, unfortunately, too common. Angela is also opening up about sensitive topics — like being millions of dollars in debt over these houses?? — and this willingness to share their authentic lives brings a realness to the show that was missing in past newbies.
• Phaedra’s tagline is definitely a choice; I knew her smidge of remorse was to save face and appease production, who knew the topic of her season-nine antics needed to be addressed. She’s technically full time, yet we haven’t seen a single solo scene or heard anything about her life. Her commentary is funny enough, so like Porsha I think she would do better in a friend role to give the newbies room to shine, though her presence wins Shamea best line of the episode with, “If we someone needs to be bailed out of jail, she gone be there to do it. And if somebody needs to be framed for something, she’ll be there to do it.”
